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'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's
sake!'

I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting
before me, and the disbelief on the face of the mother who
uttered these words.

I was a Guidance Counsellor in a city high school, and the
girl's performance had slumped in recent weeks. Her mother
couldn't believe it might possibly be related to the loss of
the girl's pet cat.

It became obvious that there wasn't much of a bond between
mother and daughter. So over the years the girl's need to
receive and GIVE affection had been transferred to her cat.
Now that the cat had passed on, the girl was devastated.

What made matters worse was her mother's total lack of
insight.

Studies carried out by veterinary associations in the UK
suggest that most kids will have a pet of some kind at some
time: cats, dogs, mice, hamsters - whatever! - and it's
probably the same in other countries.

Since kids' pets are so common, it's well for parents to
be aware of the impact they can have on their children's lives.

Psychologists talk of the 'human - companion animal bond',
which can be as strong as any human-to-human bond. Or
even stronger, as in the case of the girl above.

So when the loss, illness or death of a pet occurs, the impact
can be just as devastating.

Many families (parents as well as kids) will be familiar
with the grief and devastation brought on by the death of a
faithful dog.

But some parents think that the death of a mouse or fish is
no big deal. It's a tiny animal, so no great loss!

They fail to realise that the attachment or BOND between
child and animal is not measured by the animal's size! It's
the level of emotional investment that counts.

In fact we now know that the reaction to a pet's death can
go through exactly the same process as that of the loss of a
loved one.

• Denial (No, he'll be okay. He can't have
  died!)


• Bargaining (If I get him back I'll look after him
  properly this time!)


• Anger (It's the vet's fault. OR I should have
  

  /> done this
  or that!)



• Grief (There's a void in my life now!)


• Moving On (He'll always be in my heart, but I'm
  coping now)

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