Use Your EQ When You're the Mother-in-Law
Kelly and I have a great relationship, I'm grateful to say, but I'm still the mother-in-law. If you are one, or have one, you'll probably agree it's a relationship that requires finesse.
"Finesse" is another word for "emotional intelligence."
All those mother-in-law jokes are out there for a reason. I'd say it's hardest to be the mother of the son, but you might disagree! Anyway, Kelly is married to my only son, and the mother of my only grandchildren. There are times when I feel very vulnerable in that situation, having to ask permission and all.
My granddaughter's now old enough to come for visits. When I call to invite her, it's been hard to come up with just the right way to do it. After all, Meg is "hers" and not "mine."
Recently I read an article about something called "anodyne therapy." You know how when they're getting ready to stick a needle in your thumb they say, "This is going to sting a little
bit"? Well, in anodyne therapy, they say, "Notice how quickly your thumb becomes numb."
"Anodyne" means "serving to assuage pain, or not likely to offend or arouse tensions."
When I received an email from my daughter-in-law talking about all the "projects" she had going on, I figured out a better way to ask her. Kelly's always got something going on - painting, wallpapering, gardening - and of course they're harder to do with
the little ones underfoot. Lately I call and say, "Want to have some time to do that wallpapering? How about if I take Meg for a couple of days?"
This takes the focus off what's being given up, and places it on something Kelly really wants - more time to do her projects. Anodyne - not likely to offend or arouse tensions. That's EQ!
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TITLE: Use Your EQ When You're the Mother-in-Law"
AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT: 300
WORD WRAP: 65
URL: http://www.susandunn.cc
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc
"Use Your EQ When
You're the Mother-in-Law,"
by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
Kelly and I have a great relationship, I'm grateful to say, but
I'm still the mother-in-law. If you are one, or have one,
you'll probably agree it's a relationship that requires finesse.
"Finesse" is another word for "emotional intelligence."
All those mother-in-law jokes are out there for a reason. I'd
say it's hardest to be the mother of the son, but you might
disagree! Anyway, Kelly is married to my only son, and the mother
of my only grandchildren. There are times when I feel very
vulnerable in that situation, having to ask permission and all.
My granddaughter's now old enough to come for visits. When I call
to invite her, it's been hard to come up with just the right way
to do it. After all, Meg is "hers" and not "mine."
Recently I read an article about something called "anodyne
therapy." You know how when they're getting ready to stick a
needle in your thumb they say, "This is going to sting a little
bit"? Well, in anodyne therapy, they say, "Notice how quickly
your thumb becomes numb."
"Anodyne" means "serving to assuage pain, or not likely to
offend or arouse tensions."
When I received an email from my daughter-in-law talking about
all the "projects" she had going on, I figured out a better way
to ask her. Kelly's always got something going on - painting,
wallpapering, gardening - and of course they're harder to do with
the little ones underfoot. Lately I call and say, "Want to have
some time to do that wallpapering? How about if I take Meg for
a couple of days?"
This takes the focus off what's being given up, and places it on
something Kelly really wants - more time to do her projects.
Anodyne - not likely to offend or arouse tensions. That's EQ!
About the Author
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc , mailto:sdunn
@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine, FREE Strengths course. Coaching in emotional intelligence, strengths, resilience. Internet courses on EQ.
Written by: Susan Dunn The EQ Coach
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